Surround Yourself With Happy People

Maintaining a positive and happy outlook in life is crucial not just to your emotional well-being but also to physical and mental well being as well. Being happy allows you to fulfil your goals and achieve your dreams.

Maintaining a positive and happy outlook in life is crucial not just to your emotional well-being but also to physical and mental well being as well. Being happy allows you to fulfil your goals and achieve your dreams.

In the last week I was lucky enough to spend some time with a bunch of very positive and strong women, some of my old work colleagues and friends. Being in their company and listening to the way they’re going through the challenges in their lives in such a healthy and happy way is a great inspiration.

Life happens, it’s OK to have a moan and a sulk but the important thing is not to stay stuck in it. Being able to reach out to a bunch of friends who are positive and motivating can help you get through a sticky patch much faster with happier and healthier results.

Nobody goes through life happy and smiling ALL the time without any effort. You have to work at it! Part of ensuring you’re working to help your life purpose is to surround yourself with people who believe in you and give you the extra ‘oomph’ when you need it so choose wisely when you socialise and be conscious of who you let into your inner circle.

People grow, they develop and expand and there are times where our growth just is not aligned with those close to us and its OK. Just try to keep a balance and always cleanse and purge all that does not serve you. The worst thing you can do for yourself is to take on someone else’s negativity. Try to remember each person will walk their own path and in their own time frame.

We’re not always able to choose who we spend time with, sometimes our work and other environments can be a bit tricky to navigate, that being said it’s a good thing to remember we are always in control of how we react to the environment and what we choose to take home with us. Yes, its difficult but the results are worth it.

Just keep doing what you’re doing and make the conscious decision to choose wisely when you spend time with others…Yes you may lose some friends along the way but don’t take it to heart, if they can’t be there for you in positive ways do you really need to open up your heart and world to them?

It would be great to hear from you!

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Letting Go – Short Term Hurt, Long Term Joy

I was having a conversation with some friends recently on the topic of letting go and how caring about someone makes it difficult and rather uncomfortable to just sit back and watch as they make their own mistakes.

Caring about someone means we want what’s best for them. From our life experiences we have picked up wisdoms, life lessons and have had our eyes opened to what does and does not serve us in our higher purpose and life plan.

We know that negativity does not bring us joy, we also know that unhealthy habits of mind and body do not allow us to live up to our full potential. In learning what works in happy, healthy and positive ways we want to share this knowledge with those we care about so that they do not need to go through the hurt and discomfort that we experienced in order to learn the lesson.

This is all very well and good, intentions are pure and hearts are in the right place but…

The message can only be received and the lesson only learned if the receiver is open to receiving!

This is where the choice comes in :-

Do you let go and allow each individual to travel their own path and learn through their own mistakes, trusting that should they fall they will get up again?

Or,

Do you keep trying to talk to them, involving yourself in their process of learning by volunteering information without them asking for it? Do you keep trying to help and feel hurt and disappointed because they won’t let you in and won’t take your advice to allow for a smooth and pain free transition?

You would think that the option that requires less physical input and interaction is the one that is easiest and will reap more reward and therefore more joy but this is not so.

Allowing someone to find themselves through their own process of learning as you stand by is often more difficult than putting your two cents in the mix.

The state of allowing and letting go requires increased energy because you need to remind yourself to stop and back off. Expending your energy attempting to help someone who is not ready and open to receive help is not going to make you happy it is going to cause you hurt, pain, frustration and in the long run feelings of inadequacy and failure. But, in letting go, although it hurts in the beginning as you watch someone you care about stumble and maybe even fall, you begin to see them for who they are, warts and all….from here begins acceptance, respect and learning to love them as they are.

It is loving human nature that wants the best for everyone around them, even parents don’t want their children to endure the difficulties they endured in their lifetimes and it is those very difficulties that bred strong character and a defined sense of self!

I’ve found that with the path of transformation, positivity and growth that I have taken I have lost some friends along the way, it is sad but it is a reality that I am OK with.

I accept that we all need to embrace what it true to our soul journey and maybe one day some friends will return and maybe they won’t….but it is what it is and in letting go there is joy and there is serenity!

It would be great to hear from you!

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Fears to Overcome When Starting a Business

Overcoming these fears will put you on the right track to success.

Most of the people I know have thought of starting up their own business venture at some point or another. The thought of being able to move out of the rat race and be the creator of your own destiny is a very empowering one!

Since my news of redundancy was confirmed and I knew I was living on borrowed time, I started thinking – ‘What if I take this leap of faith?’ and ‘How nice would it be if I could start building up my practice in my own time AND it takes off positively!’

Goals are necessary drivers to greatness

It was great to have this vision, the idea of building up my own practice gave me goose bumps of excitement! With the excitement also came fear, doubts and the not-so-nice feeling of being judged.

I spoke to a few friends and acquaintances in my network who had either thought of, or successfully started their own businesses. This helped me identify the common emotions that cross paths while on this journey and for the first time during this process I did not feel alone. It was a good eye opener to see how things can progress with the correct mind-set and determination.

A positive outlook cuts the difficulty of a task in half

I noticed within myself and with people I spoke to that fear and worry can be such a negative influence that it can set you up to fail even before you begin.

So I’ve logged these negative influences, worked through them, pushed past them and thought I’d share with you so if you’re thinking what I was thinking then this will put you in the right frame of mind to start thinking, seeing and believing in yourself as a winner!

So far this is what I’ve learnt and how I’ve come to tackle them.

Lack of Confidence

Knowing you have a good idea is a great feeling. But when you start digging deeper and fleshing out that idea you start feeling a little doubtful. Questions come up…What if I don’t know enough to make this work? I’m not enough of an expert…There are older/wiser/more experienced/well known/publicly acclaimed people out there…I don’t know what I need to do to make this successful…What if I start and I can’t finish it because I don’t know what the right steps are?… I’ve never done this before and I don’t know anyone who does what I do.

First thing you need to do is STOP, BREATHE, SMILE and pat yourself on the back!

Yep! you need to congratulate yourself for getting this far and starting the process, because that’s exactly what a business is, it is a process that will enable you to achieve your goals in a way that gives you joy and satisfaction.

So how do you address and soothe these feelings of lack and doubt? Break down the thought process even further!

Every perceived challenge can be resolved with a task…. like this.

What if I don’t know enough to make this work? – Ask yourself, what do I think I need to know to make this work? if it’s some reading, get the book. If you find you need to do research and talk to people in the same business, start making calls, join networking events, go to lectures or enrol in a course – Knowledge is power and boosts your confidence.

Also breaking things down prevents you from seeing the task of gaining knowledge as massive and unattainable. Instead you’re ensuring you don’t feel overwhelmed by breaking it into little tasks that are easily achieved and boost confidence…it’s all about the little wins!

Keep a checklist and tick things off as you do them – I add smiley faces because they make me remember the joy of feeling I’ve just come one step closer.

Fear of Failure

These questions sound like this:

  • What if it doesn’t work and I have to beg my boss for my job back?
  • What if I lose everything and I have to start from scratch and the job market isn’t that great and I have to pack shelves at the supermarket to pay rent?
  • How will I ever look at myself in the mirror knowing I’m such a failure, maybe I’ll just keep at my job and hope for the best, maybe I’ll get a raise.
  • What if I fail and everyone I know looks at me as a failure?
  • What will I say if people say ‘I told you so!’?
  • How will I ever be able to face my family and friends if it goes all wrong?
  • What if I make my intentions known online and my boss and colleagues see and I fail?
  • What if I am the only one who thinks this is a good idea and I flop?

We all have fears, its natural. To have fears and conquer them is what makes us successful. To allow fear to dictate our life journey is what will keep us hoping and wishing and dreaming but NOT doing!

So how do we ease these fears? Have a plan!

Creating a detailed plan on what you’re going to do, how you’re going to do it and what you’ll be doing on a day to day basis in order to ensure you are sticking to your plan to make it work.

Sounds like a lot of planning and work? Trust me its worth it, successful people who win have a plan….if you think you’re just going to do what feels right….don’t quit your day job – You can’t wing success you plan and work for it!

Fear of What Other People Think of You

Of all three this is the one that normally tips the scales for people when thinking of starting a business. You may not agree with me yet but hear me out…

When people we love, care about and respect say something to us, it matters. Why? Because these are the people whose opinions collectively help to re validate and reaffirm what we think of ourselves. If a stranger tells us we’re crazy to start our own business its easier to shrug off than if a loved one tells us. If someone we care about thinks its a crazy idea we begin to question if perhaps they may have a point, after all they do know us better than other people do.

The trick is to remember that they are saying what they say because of the fears they have within themselves, not because they want you to fail. Now if you want cheerleaders the best way is to get them on board, show them you’ve thought things through, take them through your plan and show them how you plan on achieving what you’re talking about – get them cheering for you.

Most importantly remember to keep to your plan and celebrate your results with your cheerleaders – the best form of advertising is of course word of mouth!

It would be great to hear from you!

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Why Wearing Pyjamas When Working From Home Does NOT Work

A change of outfit alters the way our brains work!

Right now I still have a 9 – 5 job so weekdays are what they are. I also work every Saturday and almost every Sunday, and I do a lot of my consulting over Skype and emails…but never in my PJ’s and I’ll tell you why.

Pyjamas are nobody’s friend after 7am. Success takes work, work takes energy and mental alertness. As for pyjamas….they’re for sleep NOT a sharp business mind!

Looking like a professional on the outside helps me feel and perform like a professional. The rule is simple: If you will not step out the door and meet a client in it, you’re dressed wrong! Just because you’re working from home doesn’t mean you slouch around in your ‘slacker pants’.

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You want to be a winner you have to start behaving like a winner, and dressing for success is what helps you bring your mental focus to what really needs doing and it gives you the confidence to do it well!

Psychology teaches us that what we wear can affect how we behave and what we think.

Picture getting ready for a job interview, we dress up for a job interview because how we dress affects the impression that other people will form of us. So, that being noted, is it not a good idea to dress up to manage how we see ourselves?

‘Dress for Success’ is not just a phrase…its Science!

If you’d like to understand more about this science you can look up Enclothed Cognition.

It would be great to hear from you!

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Turning A Dream Into A Plan

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I’m sure you have hopes and dreams…I know I do! Everyone has a dream, if you think you don’t have one – come talk to me and we’ll dig it up, it’s there buried just under the other ‘stuff’– that layer of ‘I-do-what-I-do-because-it’s-safe’ stuff!

What is it though that takes a dream and turns it into something REAL? What is that magic dust that converts a vision of bliss into a reality? Is it THE SECRET? The Law of Attraction? pixie dust? wishing wells and shiny pennies? NO!…it’s A PLAN!

Dreams are great, that’s where the seed of success and freedom is sowed, but just like every other seed, only tending and care will allow this seed to grow and reach the point where it can be reaped and multiplied. that’s what a plan is, it’s the tending, the TLC you give your little seed to make it bloom. So no matter how big or small your dream may be it can always benefit from a little planning to help it on it’s way to reality.

Fear is a big culprit in preventing a person from taking that first step to turn a dream into a reality.

 

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” – Paolo Coelho

 

Plans don’t need to be elaborate or extremely detailed, they just need to be practical and do-able. Don’t set yourself up to fail before you even begin, there are enough people out there wanting you to fall flat on your face so they can say ‘I told you so’ so you don’t need to help them along!

First things first, you will need:

  • 1 writing instrument – I prefer pencils when planning – for some reason they give me comfort knowing I can erase and amend without having a giant ink mess on my hands. – Don’t use the computer, this defies the purpose.
  • 1 sheet of paper – not an entire notebook! ONE A4 sheet is all you need.
  • A clear picture of your dream in your mind
  • A crystal clear picture of the outcome and impact of your dream

Now, on the top of the page write the title: My Dream and write a short paragraph with a detailed description of your dream and use the PAST TENSE.

EXAMPLE: My dream was that I went to Zanzibar and walked on the beach, it was sunny and warm and I saw a real starfish and I held it and put it back in the water.

Now, from the place you’re at, in the present moment in time, think of what it would take to make that dream a reality NOW and make a list.

Leave at least a line of space between them you’ll see why in a bit.

LIKE THIS:

  • Passport
  • Ticket
  • Visa
  • Money
  • Accommodation
  • Guide Book
  • Sunscreen

Right, now you have a list, cross off what you already are in the possession of. Now look at what’s left and write next to each one no more than a 3 step plan to acquire it.

LIKE THIS:

  • Passport  – valid until 2019
  • Ticket – decide how many days, select dates, search for good deal and purchase online
  • Visa – google requirements, fill in forms, follow procedure
  • Money – Work out budget required per day, look up travel money and set allowance
  • Accommodation – Use Google and price comparison website to find the best deal
  • Guide Book – Have had one for ages now
  • Sunscreen – Go to Boots, buy sunscreen £4.00

Now at the bottom of the page write a heading: My Reality and write a short paragraph or a few lines with your dream and use the PRESENT TENSE.

This time try to add as much detail as possible and really make it real.

EXAMPLE: I am in Zanzibar, walking on the beach. It is sunny and warm and I have my sunscreen on. I can feel the cool sand under my feet and as I am walking I see a beautiful bright red starfish, I stand and look at it for a moment then I take a picture before I hold it gently feeling the slight roughness of it and put it back in the water. I smile and want to shout out I’m SO happy!

Let’s see what you’ve done here – DREAM + CHECK LIST + PLAN = REALITY = HAPPY!

I look forward to reading your success stories!

It would be great to hear from you!

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When The Going Gets Tough – Get Out Of Your Own Way!

Challenges are to be expected, in work, home, health and social life – they WILL happen and the quicker you make peace with this idea the better! Being trouble free is not about NOT having challenges it’s about the attitude with which you face them!

Challenges are to be expected, in work, home, health and social life – they WILL happen and the quicker you make peace with this idea the better! Being trouble free is not about NOT having challenges it’s about the attitude with which you face them!

Of course when a challenge arises we panic, in the way that we have lived our lives thus far we understand that when faced with challenge it is natural to panic, feel anxious and fearful and sometimes go so far as to find someone else to blame.

This is not natural at all, it is a learned behaviour and just as we have learnt it we can unlearn it.

“Embrace each challenge in your life as an opportunity for self-transformation.”  ― Bernie S. Siegel

 

Stuff happens! Accept it, take responsibility for your part in it, open up to a solution, get out of your own way so the solution can present itself, take action!

Acceptance – acceptance means to recognise, to take in.

So here’s a story …One morning you rush out of the house on the way to a very important client meeting and you’re so focussed on what you’re going to say and what you’re going to do that you forget you left your notes at home, by the time you remember it’s too late to go back and get them.

What do you do?

Two options:-

One, you can start playing the blame game and put yourself in the position of the victim… blaming the alarm that didn’t go off or the kettle took too long to boil, the cat was sitting on your notebook that’s why you didn’t see it or a hundred other reasons…this is not going to get you anywhere except flustered, annoyed and very dangerously negative for a situation where you need to be at your best.

Or option two…shrug, say to yourself ‘ oh well, that’s done. I will be more careful next time and pack my notes the evening before. What can I do now?  Oh I know… I’ll make notes on my phone as I sit on the tube and email it to myself so I can view it on my laptop when I get to the meeting’.

YES option two is the way to go!

Lets break this one down!

  • Oh well, that’s done. – Acceptance.
  • I will be more careful next time and pack my notes the evening before – Taking responsibility.
  • What can I do now? – Opening up so a solution can present itself by asking the question.
  • Staying calm and collected long enough so that a solution becomes clear in your mind….this is called getting out of your own way!
  • Oh I know… I’ll make notes on my phone as I sit on the tube and email it to myself so I can view it on my laptop when I get to the meeting –This is taking action!

Now you have the idea AND you’re calm enough to execute it successfully. You’re in a positive space, feeling you have conquered this challenge and show up at the meeting smiling, confident and of course this sets the tone for the entire day.

“Challenges in life can either enrich you or poison you. You are the one who decides.”― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

I hope the next time some challenge crosses your path you’ll remember this post and get out of your own way as you open up to a positive and enriching experience!

It would be great to hear from you!

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Staying Happy Takes Work – My Challenge

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Hi lovelies! I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged and since you’ve heard from me. Its been a challenging time and STAYING happy has been taking a lot of work!

So after a short break away I came back and found out I was going to be made redundant – normally news like this that has the potential to throw my whole world out of sync will have me in a giant panic! But after the initial ‘what do I do next?’ question I decided this time I’m going to surrender to the process and allow my next job to find me.

I made a list of all the qualities I desire in my new role, a list of how I want to FEEL in my new role and every day I make sure I take ten minutes and feel these feelings as if I’m already in my new role – I’ve had several interviews so far and I’m waiting to feel the feeling I know belongs with my new role.

Some friends feel I’m being silly with my approach but I believe as a human I will do everything in my humanly capacity to bring this new role to me…. I will do my visualisations, my feeling-sations and I’m going to the interviews, having the conversations, sending out my CV and all the while keeping belief when MY job comes to me I will know.

I’m not saying it’s been a breeze staying positive and open – quite the opposite really! On top of the job situation I had a yukky flu I couldn’t shake that took ages to work itself out of my system, situations with home, friends and family that were quite testing and the heating and hot water went out for days as the days grow shorter and colder while winter arrives!

But happiness is a choice and a mind-set and I was not ready to allow these little hiccups get the better of me so I brought out my lists and put them up on my wall, wrote some affirmations down and stuck them in places I know I’ll see them and every day I draw a tiny little number 1 on my left hand where I wear my watch and when I feel annoyed or irritable I look at the 1 and say to myself ‘ Oh look, 1 more day closer to my new job which will come to me soon by grace and in the most perfect way’

So yes, it’s been work and I’ll keep doing it because………it makes me and keeps me happy!

If there is anything you’d like to stay on top of and stay positive about try making a list of how the desired outcome feels like and feel those as if you are living the desired outcome already – if you’d like to chat about it or ask questions, feel free to get in touch!

It would be great to hear from you!

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