Surround Yourself With Happy People

Maintaining a positive and happy outlook in life is crucial not just to your emotional well-being but also to physical and mental well being as well. Being happy allows you to fulfil your goals and achieve your dreams.

Maintaining a positive and happy outlook in life is crucial not just to your emotional well-being but also to physical and mental well being as well. Being happy allows you to fulfil your goals and achieve your dreams.

In the last week I was lucky enough to spend some time with a bunch of very positive and strong women, some of my old work colleagues and friends. Being in their company and listening to the way they’re going through the challenges in their lives in such a healthy and happy way is a great inspiration.

Life happens, it’s OK to have a moan and a sulk but the important thing is not to stay stuck in it. Being able to reach out to a bunch of friends who are positive and motivating can help you get through a sticky patch much faster with happier and healthier results.

Nobody goes through life happy and smiling ALL the time without any effort. You have to work at it! Part of ensuring you’re working to help your life purpose is to surround yourself with people who believe in you and give you the extra ‘oomph’ when you need it so choose wisely when you socialise and be conscious of who you let into your inner circle.

People grow, they develop and expand and there are times where our growth just is not aligned with those close to us and its OK. Just try to keep a balance and always cleanse and purge all that does not serve you. The worst thing you can do for yourself is to take on someone else’s negativity. Try to remember each person will walk their own path and in their own time frame.

We’re not always able to choose who we spend time with, sometimes our work and other environments can be a bit tricky to navigate, that being said it’s a good thing to remember we are always in control of how we react to the environment and what we choose to take home with us. Yes, its difficult but the results are worth it.

Just keep doing what you’re doing and make the conscious decision to choose wisely when you spend time with others…Yes you may lose some friends along the way but don’t take it to heart, if they can’t be there for you in positive ways do you really need to open up your heart and world to them?

It would be great to hear from you!

Get in touch…

 

 

Letting Go – Short Term Hurt, Long Term Joy

I was having a conversation with some friends recently on the topic of letting go and how caring about someone makes it difficult and rather uncomfortable to just sit back and watch as they make their own mistakes.

Caring about someone means we want what’s best for them. From our life experiences we have picked up wisdoms, life lessons and have had our eyes opened to what does and does not serve us in our higher purpose and life plan.

We know that negativity does not bring us joy, we also know that unhealthy habits of mind and body do not allow us to live up to our full potential. In learning what works in happy, healthy and positive ways we want to share this knowledge with those we care about so that they do not need to go through the hurt and discomfort that we experienced in order to learn the lesson.

This is all very well and good, intentions are pure and hearts are in the right place but…

The message can only be received and the lesson only learned if the receiver is open to receiving!

This is where the choice comes in :-

Do you let go and allow each individual to travel their own path and learn through their own mistakes, trusting that should they fall they will get up again?

Or,

Do you keep trying to talk to them, involving yourself in their process of learning by volunteering information without them asking for it? Do you keep trying to help and feel hurt and disappointed because they won’t let you in and won’t take your advice to allow for a smooth and pain free transition?

You would think that the option that requires less physical input and interaction is the one that is easiest and will reap more reward and therefore more joy but this is not so.

Allowing someone to find themselves through their own process of learning as you stand by is often more difficult than putting your two cents in the mix.

The state of allowing and letting go requires increased energy because you need to remind yourself to stop and back off. Expending your energy attempting to help someone who is not ready and open to receive help is not going to make you happy it is going to cause you hurt, pain, frustration and in the long run feelings of inadequacy and failure. But, in letting go, although it hurts in the beginning as you watch someone you care about stumble and maybe even fall, you begin to see them for who they are, warts and all….from here begins acceptance, respect and learning to love them as they are.

It is loving human nature that wants the best for everyone around them, even parents don’t want their children to endure the difficulties they endured in their lifetimes and it is those very difficulties that bred strong character and a defined sense of self!

I’ve found that with the path of transformation, positivity and growth that I have taken I have lost some friends along the way, it is sad but it is a reality that I am OK with.

I accept that we all need to embrace what it true to our soul journey and maybe one day some friends will return and maybe they won’t….but it is what it is and in letting go there is joy and there is serenity!

It would be great to hear from you!

Get in touch…

 

Fears to Overcome When Starting a Business

Overcoming these fears will put you on the right track to success.

Most of the people I know have thought of starting up their own business venture at some point or another. The thought of being able to move out of the rat race and be the creator of your own destiny is a very empowering one!

Since my news of redundancy was confirmed and I knew I was living on borrowed time, I started thinking – ‘What if I take this leap of faith?’ and ‘How nice would it be if I could start building up my practice in my own time AND it takes off positively!’

Goals are necessary drivers to greatness

It was great to have this vision, the idea of building up my own practice gave me goose bumps of excitement! With the excitement also came fear, doubts and the not-so-nice feeling of being judged.

I spoke to a few friends and acquaintances in my network who had either thought of, or successfully started their own businesses. This helped me identify the common emotions that cross paths while on this journey and for the first time during this process I did not feel alone. It was a good eye opener to see how things can progress with the correct mind-set and determination.

A positive outlook cuts the difficulty of a task in half

I noticed within myself and with people I spoke to that fear and worry can be such a negative influence that it can set you up to fail even before you begin.

So I’ve logged these negative influences, worked through them, pushed past them and thought I’d share with you so if you’re thinking what I was thinking then this will put you in the right frame of mind to start thinking, seeing and believing in yourself as a winner!

So far this is what I’ve learnt and how I’ve come to tackle them.

Lack of Confidence

Knowing you have a good idea is a great feeling. But when you start digging deeper and fleshing out that idea you start feeling a little doubtful. Questions come up…What if I don’t know enough to make this work? I’m not enough of an expert…There are older/wiser/more experienced/well known/publicly acclaimed people out there…I don’t know what I need to do to make this successful…What if I start and I can’t finish it because I don’t know what the right steps are?… I’ve never done this before and I don’t know anyone who does what I do.

First thing you need to do is STOP, BREATHE, SMILE and pat yourself on the back!

Yep! you need to congratulate yourself for getting this far and starting the process, because that’s exactly what a business is, it is a process that will enable you to achieve your goals in a way that gives you joy and satisfaction.

So how do you address and soothe these feelings of lack and doubt? Break down the thought process even further!

Every perceived challenge can be resolved with a task…. like this.

What if I don’t know enough to make this work? – Ask yourself, what do I think I need to know to make this work? if it’s some reading, get the book. If you find you need to do research and talk to people in the same business, start making calls, join networking events, go to lectures or enrol in a course – Knowledge is power and boosts your confidence.

Also breaking things down prevents you from seeing the task of gaining knowledge as massive and unattainable. Instead you’re ensuring you don’t feel overwhelmed by breaking it into little tasks that are easily achieved and boost confidence…it’s all about the little wins!

Keep a checklist and tick things off as you do them – I add smiley faces because they make me remember the joy of feeling I’ve just come one step closer.

Fear of Failure

These questions sound like this:

  • What if it doesn’t work and I have to beg my boss for my job back?
  • What if I lose everything and I have to start from scratch and the job market isn’t that great and I have to pack shelves at the supermarket to pay rent?
  • How will I ever look at myself in the mirror knowing I’m such a failure, maybe I’ll just keep at my job and hope for the best, maybe I’ll get a raise.
  • What if I fail and everyone I know looks at me as a failure?
  • What will I say if people say ‘I told you so!’?
  • How will I ever be able to face my family and friends if it goes all wrong?
  • What if I make my intentions known online and my boss and colleagues see and I fail?
  • What if I am the only one who thinks this is a good idea and I flop?

We all have fears, its natural. To have fears and conquer them is what makes us successful. To allow fear to dictate our life journey is what will keep us hoping and wishing and dreaming but NOT doing!

So how do we ease these fears? Have a plan!

Creating a detailed plan on what you’re going to do, how you’re going to do it and what you’ll be doing on a day to day basis in order to ensure you are sticking to your plan to make it work.

Sounds like a lot of planning and work? Trust me its worth it, successful people who win have a plan….if you think you’re just going to do what feels right….don’t quit your day job – You can’t wing success you plan and work for it!

Fear of What Other People Think of You

Of all three this is the one that normally tips the scales for people when thinking of starting a business. You may not agree with me yet but hear me out…

When people we love, care about and respect say something to us, it matters. Why? Because these are the people whose opinions collectively help to re validate and reaffirm what we think of ourselves. If a stranger tells us we’re crazy to start our own business its easier to shrug off than if a loved one tells us. If someone we care about thinks its a crazy idea we begin to question if perhaps they may have a point, after all they do know us better than other people do.

The trick is to remember that they are saying what they say because of the fears they have within themselves, not because they want you to fail. Now if you want cheerleaders the best way is to get them on board, show them you’ve thought things through, take them through your plan and show them how you plan on achieving what you’re talking about – get them cheering for you.

Most importantly remember to keep to your plan and celebrate your results with your cheerleaders – the best form of advertising is of course word of mouth!

It would be great to hear from you!

Get in touch…

nature-fashion-person-woman.jpg

Why Wearing Pyjamas When Working From Home Does NOT Work

A change of outfit alters the way our brains work!

Right now I still have a 9 – 5 job so weekdays are what they are. I also work every Saturday and almost every Sunday, and I do a lot of my consulting over Skype and emails…but never in my PJ’s and I’ll tell you why.

Pyjamas are nobody’s friend after 7am. Success takes work, work takes energy and mental alertness. As for pyjamas….they’re for sleep NOT a sharp business mind!

Looking like a professional on the outside helps me feel and perform like a professional. The rule is simple: If you will not step out the door and meet a client in it, you’re dressed wrong! Just because you’re working from home doesn’t mean you slouch around in your ‘slacker pants’.

chicken

You want to be a winner you have to start behaving like a winner, and dressing for success is what helps you bring your mental focus to what really needs doing and it gives you the confidence to do it well!

Psychology teaches us that what we wear can affect how we behave and what we think.

Picture getting ready for a job interview, we dress up for a job interview because how we dress affects the impression that other people will form of us. So, that being noted, is it not a good idea to dress up to manage how we see ourselves?

‘Dress for Success’ is not just a phrase…its Science!

If you’d like to understand more about this science you can look up Enclothed Cognition.

It would be great to hear from you!

Get in touch…

Turning A Dream Into A Plan

womanbeachhat-600x315

I’m sure you have hopes and dreams…I know I do! Everyone has a dream, if you think you don’t have one – come talk to me and we’ll dig it up, it’s there buried just under the other ‘stuff’– that layer of ‘I-do-what-I-do-because-it’s-safe’ stuff!

What is it though that takes a dream and turns it into something REAL? What is that magic dust that converts a vision of bliss into a reality? Is it THE SECRET? The Law of Attraction? pixie dust? wishing wells and shiny pennies? NO!…it’s A PLAN!

Dreams are great, that’s where the seed of success and freedom is sowed, but just like every other seed, only tending and care will allow this seed to grow and reach the point where it can be reaped and multiplied. that’s what a plan is, it’s the tending, the TLC you give your little seed to make it bloom. So no matter how big or small your dream may be it can always benefit from a little planning to help it on it’s way to reality.

Fear is a big culprit in preventing a person from taking that first step to turn a dream into a reality.

 

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” – Paolo Coelho

 

Plans don’t need to be elaborate or extremely detailed, they just need to be practical and do-able. Don’t set yourself up to fail before you even begin, there are enough people out there wanting you to fall flat on your face so they can say ‘I told you so’ so you don’t need to help them along!

First things first, you will need:

  • 1 writing instrument – I prefer pencils when planning – for some reason they give me comfort knowing I can erase and amend without having a giant ink mess on my hands. – Don’t use the computer, this defies the purpose.
  • 1 sheet of paper – not an entire notebook! ONE A4 sheet is all you need.
  • A clear picture of your dream in your mind
  • A crystal clear picture of the outcome and impact of your dream

Now, on the top of the page write the title: My Dream and write a short paragraph with a detailed description of your dream and use the PAST TENSE.

EXAMPLE: My dream was that I went to Zanzibar and walked on the beach, it was sunny and warm and I saw a real starfish and I held it and put it back in the water.

Now, from the place you’re at, in the present moment in time, think of what it would take to make that dream a reality NOW and make a list.

Leave at least a line of space between them you’ll see why in a bit.

LIKE THIS:

  • Passport
  • Ticket
  • Visa
  • Money
  • Accommodation
  • Guide Book
  • Sunscreen

Right, now you have a list, cross off what you already are in the possession of. Now look at what’s left and write next to each one no more than a 3 step plan to acquire it.

LIKE THIS:

  • Passport  – valid until 2019
  • Ticket – decide how many days, select dates, search for good deal and purchase online
  • Visa – google requirements, fill in forms, follow procedure
  • Money – Work out budget required per day, look up travel money and set allowance
  • Accommodation – Use Google and price comparison website to find the best deal
  • Guide Book – Have had one for ages now
  • Sunscreen – Go to Boots, buy sunscreen £4.00

Now at the bottom of the page write a heading: My Reality and write a short paragraph or a few lines with your dream and use the PRESENT TENSE.

This time try to add as much detail as possible and really make it real.

EXAMPLE: I am in Zanzibar, walking on the beach. It is sunny and warm and I have my sunscreen on. I can feel the cool sand under my feet and as I am walking I see a beautiful bright red starfish, I stand and look at it for a moment then I take a picture before I hold it gently feeling the slight roughness of it and put it back in the water. I smile and want to shout out I’m SO happy!

Let’s see what you’ve done here – DREAM + CHECK LIST + PLAN = REALITY = HAPPY!

I look forward to reading your success stories!

It would be great to hear from you!

Get in touch…

When The Going Gets Tough – Get Out Of Your Own Way!

Challenges are to be expected, in work, home, health and social life – they WILL happen and the quicker you make peace with this idea the better! Being trouble free is not about NOT having challenges it’s about the attitude with which you face them!

Challenges are to be expected, in work, home, health and social life – they WILL happen and the quicker you make peace with this idea the better! Being trouble free is not about NOT having challenges it’s about the attitude with which you face them!

Of course when a challenge arises we panic, in the way that we have lived our lives thus far we understand that when faced with challenge it is natural to panic, feel anxious and fearful and sometimes go so far as to find someone else to blame.

This is not natural at all, it is a learned behaviour and just as we have learnt it we can unlearn it.

“Embrace each challenge in your life as an opportunity for self-transformation.”  ― Bernie S. Siegel

 

Stuff happens! Accept it, take responsibility for your part in it, open up to a solution, get out of your own way so the solution can present itself, take action!

Acceptance – acceptance means to recognise, to take in.

So here’s a story …One morning you rush out of the house on the way to a very important client meeting and you’re so focussed on what you’re going to say and what you’re going to do that you forget you left your notes at home, by the time you remember it’s too late to go back and get them.

What do you do?

Two options:-

One, you can start playing the blame game and put yourself in the position of the victim… blaming the alarm that didn’t go off or the kettle took too long to boil, the cat was sitting on your notebook that’s why you didn’t see it or a hundred other reasons…this is not going to get you anywhere except flustered, annoyed and very dangerously negative for a situation where you need to be at your best.

Or option two…shrug, say to yourself ‘ oh well, that’s done. I will be more careful next time and pack my notes the evening before. What can I do now?  Oh I know… I’ll make notes on my phone as I sit on the tube and email it to myself so I can view it on my laptop when I get to the meeting’.

YES option two is the way to go!

Lets break this one down!

  • Oh well, that’s done. – Acceptance.
  • I will be more careful next time and pack my notes the evening before – Taking responsibility.
  • What can I do now? – Opening up so a solution can present itself by asking the question.
  • Staying calm and collected long enough so that a solution becomes clear in your mind….this is called getting out of your own way!
  • Oh I know… I’ll make notes on my phone as I sit on the tube and email it to myself so I can view it on my laptop when I get to the meeting –This is taking action!

Now you have the idea AND you’re calm enough to execute it successfully. You’re in a positive space, feeling you have conquered this challenge and show up at the meeting smiling, confident and of course this sets the tone for the entire day.

“Challenges in life can either enrich you or poison you. You are the one who decides.”― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

I hope the next time some challenge crosses your path you’ll remember this post and get out of your own way as you open up to a positive and enriching experience!

It would be great to hear from you!

Get in touch…

Staying Happy Takes Work – My Challenge

abi_can-755554

Hi lovelies! I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged and since you’ve heard from me. Its been a challenging time and STAYING happy has been taking a lot of work!

So after a short break away I came back and found out I was going to be made redundant – normally news like this that has the potential to throw my whole world out of sync will have me in a giant panic! But after the initial ‘what do I do next?’ question I decided this time I’m going to surrender to the process and allow my next job to find me.

I made a list of all the qualities I desire in my new role, a list of how I want to FEEL in my new role and every day I make sure I take ten minutes and feel these feelings as if I’m already in my new role – I’ve had several interviews so far and I’m waiting to feel the feeling I know belongs with my new role.

Some friends feel I’m being silly with my approach but I believe as a human I will do everything in my humanly capacity to bring this new role to me…. I will do my visualisations, my feeling-sations and I’m going to the interviews, having the conversations, sending out my CV and all the while keeping belief when MY job comes to me I will know.

I’m not saying it’s been a breeze staying positive and open – quite the opposite really! On top of the job situation I had a yukky flu I couldn’t shake that took ages to work itself out of my system, situations with home, friends and family that were quite testing and the heating and hot water went out for days as the days grow shorter and colder while winter arrives!

But happiness is a choice and a mind-set and I was not ready to allow these little hiccups get the better of me so I brought out my lists and put them up on my wall, wrote some affirmations down and stuck them in places I know I’ll see them and every day I draw a tiny little number 1 on my left hand where I wear my watch and when I feel annoyed or irritable I look at the 1 and say to myself ‘ Oh look, 1 more day closer to my new job which will come to me soon by grace and in the most perfect way’

So yes, it’s been work and I’ll keep doing it because………it makes me and keeps me happy!

If there is anything you’d like to stay on top of and stay positive about try making a list of how the desired outcome feels like and feel those as if you are living the desired outcome already – if you’d like to chat about it or ask questions, feel free to get in touch!

It would be great to hear from you!

Get in touch…

 

Happiness Takes Training And Practice

Think of happiness as a muscle – a muscle that needs to be trained with a specific set of exercises done properly so you get the desired result. And in order to do it properly you need…practice!

Think of happiness as a muscle – a muscle that needs to be trained with a specific set of exercises done properly so you get the desired result. And in order to do it properly you need…practice!

Yep, you’re getting the idea now… Just like lunges and squats, good technique takes practice and with repetition comes that desired result.

Let’s Talk Training…

In the aim of keeping this short, sweet and simple let’s stick with the ‘happiness is a muscle’ metaphor.

We’ve gone through some tasks and daily checklists in previous posts, so you know what you need to do. You have your notebooks, you understand your triggers, you’ve got your coping strategies in place… you’ve got the tools now you need to use them and use them correctly.

Motivation + Technique + Repetition = Positive Result

What ensures you use them correctly???… Intent!

Intent is an important motivational force and intent is what will make you WANT to keep exercising that happy muscle.

Technique is knowing how to do what you need to do (We’ve covered those in previous posts).

Repetition comes from discipline – don’t faff about, don’t procrastinate, don’t aim to be perfect and start tomorrow when you have everything just right… just do it!

Having the right intent before you begin is crucial to success.

Quick task: Sit down for a few minutes and really focus inward – determine what is YOUR intention for taking this path to being happier.

It could be a number of things, you could want to have more invitations to parties, have a better relationship with family/friends/colleagues/neighbours/neighbour’s dog, it could be that you’re trying to attract the attention of a certain someone or vying for a promotion…these are no good, you need to scrap it and get back to the drawing board!

Just like everything else in life if you do it for someone or something other than yourself, it flops. So put your thinking cap on, dig deep and figure out what is it that YOU want.

My motivation is: I want to be happier each day because I want to feel really and truly ALIVE in all my senses and I want to live every day to the fullest…no regrets, no what if’s no if only’s.

Find something that resonates with you and write it down – by writing it down you are committing to it and this serves as a great reminder when you’re having those iffy moments. Maybe you have a song or a movie that brings this feeling to life – if you do keep it handy for days you need inspiration and a boost.

Set up little notes to self, these can be words, pictures, music playlists, movies, cartoon clips, post it notes…………. anything! The trick is that it MUST resonate with YOU and YOUR intent.

So now you have the what and you have the how – now go train that happiness muscle… you can do it!!!

It would be great to hear from you!

Get in touch…

Happiness Requires Effort

The effort you put into becoming happy will equate to the end result which is of course, a happier you!

What is effort? Effort is defined as: to do one’s best, exert oneself, labour, work, toil, apply oneself!

So effort is WORK and the effort you put into becoming happy will equate to the end result which is of course, a happier you!

Now I hear what you’re thinking…’Why do I need to work at being happy, isn’t it just supposed to happen?’ Well the answer is yes and no. As I mentioned in my last post, we all have a happiness set point – this is the automatic base line measure of our happiness. What we are looking to do is to be happier, more bubbly and positive people so of course we want to challenge this set point– hence the effort.

Here is a short list you can jot down in your diary or create a check list on your phone – this allows for momentum to develop and as you get the hang of it you can add more to your list.

Happy Day Checklist:

Morning Thank You – When you open your eyes and before you get out of bed quickly think of three things you’re thankful for and smile LOTS – even if it’s a forced, fake smile – your facial muscles don’t know any different and your brain responds by releasing endorphins which makes you feel happy. If you need to set the alarm five minutes earlier – do it and SMILE!

Perfume! – Spritz away…use your favourite scent to lift your mood and make you happy. There is science in this too I promise. When you inhale your favourite fragrance, you trigger smell receptors in your nose, the chemicals in the scent (whether its natural or synthetic doesn’t matter) enter your lungs and move into your bloodstream, the part of your brain that manages emotions is then stimulated and the body responds by releasing serotonin and norepinephrine – result = happy!!!

Eat Healthy – I’m sure you are more than aware of the countless benefits of eating healthy so I’m keeping this one short. Eating clean = feeling good for making good choices = easy digestion = release of serotonin = Happy You! Need I say more?

Exercise – Whether it’s getting off the bus one stop early, a quick walk during your lunch break, taking the stairs or walking home the long way – a little bit goes a long way! Your body moves, your brain releases dopamine – your stress/depression levels go down – you feel happy!

Breathe! – Another spot of science for you, aim to take a few sets of ten deep breaths a day, start slow and build up over time – even if it means escaping somewhere outside for a few minutes. Deep breathing stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes relaxation – when you’re relaxed you’re more calm and able to handle whatever comes your way.

Random Act of Kindness – Do something nice for someone – just because! Hold open a door, say thank you to the bus driver, smile and say thank you to the barista as you get your coffee…. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture – even making a colleague a cup of tea without being asked is great.

Be Nice – Don’t react, be mindful and nice – find your magic word/phrase (see my previous post). In the beginning pick one task that you will CHOOSE not to react to – something you know happens daily and that can be a trigger for you. For me, it used to be people who get on a bus or are stood in line to get in at the tube station then start digging for their oyster when it’s their turn – not before, but right there holding everyone up – I now play a game called Find Something I Like where I look at people around me and find something I like – maybe a bag, cute earrings, nice smile, cool shades…anything really!

And last but not least – End your day with another quick list of thank yous and smile – yep even a fake one – the bigger the better!

It would be great to hear from you!

Get in touch…

Happiness Can Be Learnt

Happiness is not just an emotion it is also a skill and just like any other skill it can be learnt and with practice it can be perfected to the point where it becomes quite effortless.

Happiness is not just an emotion it is also a skill and just like any other skill it can be learnt and with practice it can be perfected to the point where it becomes quite effortless.  

In psychology research there is a theory that suggests that each one of us has a happiness ‘set-point’ this is like a base line. When positive life events occur our happy meters go up and with negative events our happy meter goes down but given time we will always return to our base line….like a happiness ‘comfort zone’!

In practice however, this set-point can actually be reset by learning new skills which is fantastic news because who doesn’t want to be happier right?!

So since Happiness can be learnt what are the tasks we need to set ourselves in the short term to raise our set point for the long term?

Be Thankful – If you’re reading this post its because you care about how you feel and I’m sure you’ve heard it countless times but gratitude really is the key to happiness not as a short term measure but as a total transformation with which you experience life as a whole.

The art of gratefulness takes practice but once you start you’ll get the hang of it pretty quickly.

Start by ending your day thinking of 3 things you’re grateful for, if it helps you can write them down in a journal – even if they are the same three things every day for the first few days it’s OK. I remember when I started this exercise I would repeat the same things over and over until I learnt to actually appreciate things for what they were and then it became easier. I’ve now worked myself up to 10 things I go over before bed but I still rough have days where I can’t think of anything, then I resort to my basics.

Challenge yourself, try looking for new things each day and you’ll see how going to bed smiling is the best way to plan for a positive day ahead!

It Is What It Is – If you’re anything like me, when something negative happens or someone says something hurtful you already have 10 (if not more) different thoughts going through your mind, with them come ‘what if’s’, ‘if only’s’ and ‘but why’s’.

Since I’ve committed to becoming the most positive version of myself I have a new word I say in my head when this situation presents itself – it comes with a mental shoulder shrug…this word is ‘meh’. For me, this word means ‘Oh well, it is what it is!’.

I don’t think of it anymore, it’s almost instinctive now – some of my friends find it strange how something can happen and I just carry on seemingly oblivious but that’s not what it is.

Every day I am constantly making the conscious choice NOT to entertain that voice in my head that just has me feeling anxious and unsettled and sometimes even fearful. I have a client who hums a certain Disney tune about ‘letting go’ every time she catches herself starting the negative dialogue in her head. Find something that works for you and do it – don’t think about it, just find a word, tune, phrase or quote that works for you, jump in and start now!

Practice Mindfulness – Now before you go and search the internet for videos, links and audios – the mindfulness I’m talking of here is simply being aware of where you are, what you’re doing, how you’re feeling and the thoughts in your mind without a need to act or react, just to be aware.

Take time when eating your lunch to actually eat your lunch, not multi task by doing the online grocery shop between mouthfuls while filling out a form and replying to an email while checking Facebook updates. By doing too many things at one you divide your energy and divide the actual joy of each experience – yes there is joy in filling out forms, someone somewhere needs the information only you can provide so they can, in return, provide you with information/services/items meant specifically for you!

There really is nothing more beautiful than really living and experiencing each moment fully…give it a go!

Take Care of Yourself – Here is another one you’ve heard of countless times but it really is worth mentioning again. It’s so easy to put other people’s needs before our own, to prioritise career or housework before ourselves. But think of it this way – how can you be the best at work/home/play if you’re not feeling like the best you? Take little time outs for yourself to feed your soul, to refuel and recharge your inner power source. Maybe watch a quick music video you like, go for a walk, call a friend or family member – nurture your relationships with loved ones and yourself. Eat healthy, fit in some exercise, be playful!

Have fun…you’ll be better for it…and happier!

Pay It Forward – Doing nice things for others makes you happier – this is a scientific fact!

Acts of kindness release serotonin in your brain. Serotonin is a substance that has amazing health benefits including the ability to make us feel happier. Doing something for someone just for the sake of it is a great way to feel good inside.

A random act of kindness is good for you, great for the person receiving it and if someone just happens to see it then it becomes a motivation for someone to do something good too – a wonderful win win chain reaction – everyone is happy!

Keep a Checklist – Yes, it works!

You have a to do list and organiser for every aspect of your work and social life, why not one for your happiness?

I have a little notebook that goes with me EVERYWHERE! Anything I come across that looks fun or sparks joy in me I write it down either as a to do at some point or commit to a date and then I can cross it off.

On my way into work today I was sitting next to a man on the bus doing a Sudoku puzzle – I realised I actually miss doing those and they make me so happy so I made a note to check online for a Sudoku app.

Lunchtime puzzle for me…yay!!!

So, there you go! A few suggestions on how to move that set point higher. Remember slow and steady wins the race – a little push against our boundaries is good, too much and you’ll just end up where you started but disheartened and feeling like the task is too mighty.

It would be great to hear from you!

Get in touch…